Mental Capacity

I was getting ready to take the kidlets to school this morning, and  mentally going over all that I needed to get done today, when it dawned upon me; my brain was multi-tasking like a big dog. I was answering queries such as where one kid's backpack was, where another one had left their book, and telling my husband where his jacket was, all the while planning my dinner menu, mentally organizing my study schedule for the day, and listing all the chores I needed to get done and in what order. It was a hub-bub of activity in the ole bean department.

I remember days gone by, pre-kids, pre-husband, when my biggest concern was... me. Where were my shoes, should I wear this jacket or a sweater, did I remember to put a second coat of polish on my toes last nite, hair up or down, I wonder if Cute Guy One is going to call, and should I go out with him Saturday and the Cute Guy Two on Sunday...? I could think a thought through to completion. I could read a book, soak in the words, and think about it uninterrupted. I had actual conversations with real live grown-ups about the different things I thought about, and did things like "brain-storm". I had room to be air-headed and flighty and silly, because my brain had not yet filled to capacity. I could fill it with whatever nonsense I wanted, and call it "important".

Now it feels like my brain is crammed with information both useless and terribly important. The useless is more fodder for my children's amusement. The important is the stuff that keeps us all alive and the household functioning. There's more of the latter than the former, and as life rolls inexorably forward, the less useless I have floating around in there and the more terribly important takes it's place. It's cool, but at the same time, kind-of a drag.

They say that you never truly forget anything, that it, whatever it is, is actually stored away in your head somewhere, and the proper stimulation can bring it forth again. I beg to differ. I think that as I get older, and more responsible (don't laugh), the more the weird and silly and useless goes out one side and is replaced with the important, the things that "matter". But of course I couldn't tell you for sure, since I can't remember just what it is that I have forgotten. So how important, or not, it was or could be isn't something I can say.

And there you have it. Whatever it is. I kinda forgot the point I was trying to make... maybe I'll remember later, if it hasn't already been replaced...

Peace.