I'm not sure what happened last night. I made and ate a perfectly normal dinner around 6pm. I was happy, had a full belly, and Shawn took care of the dishes afterward. Yay!
And then, about 7-ish or so, I realized I was hungry again. Three hours later, I looked up from the couch where I was seated, and realize that in the past 180 minutes I had consumed (with slight assistance from Shawn and Killian):
A box of Kraft Macaroni and Cheese, a pouch of instant mashed potatoes with butter added, a box of Stove Top stuffing slathered with turkey gravy, a quarter of a (big) bag of M&M Darks, a banana, several grapes, and half a casserole dish of green bean casserole.
Somewhere in the course of this, Shawn mentioned getting a second serving of stuffing for himself. I have a vague memory of growling at him, like a protective kitten hoarding a Q-Tip. I'm fairly positive that I had gravy running down my chin at the time.
Total calorie consumption in those three hours? Somewhere in the 2,000 range. Grams of fat? Even I am not masochistic enough to want to read the damage I've just done to my cholesterol levels. I don't have a fetus, I've got a tapeworm with legs.
And don't even tell me to put down the fork. I'll probably stab you with it and then dine on your carcass.
3 comments:
I love this. You're like Godzilla and the refrigerator is Japan. Is this role-playing you engage in frequently? :)
Where's the growling and gravy dripping down your chin? I loved that part! Bren, if I send you a Costco-sized box of M&M's Dark, will you add the omitted parts? Please?
Read it again, Moonrush. It's there! Growling and gravy-chin...check.
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