Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Blog Like Ninja, Eat Like Sumo!

I'm not sure what happened last night. I made and ate a perfectly normal dinner around 6pm. I was happy, had a full belly, and Shawn took care of the dishes afterward. Yay!

And then, about 7-ish or so, I realized I was hungry again. Three hours later, I looked up from the couch where I was seated, and realize that in the past 180 minutes I had consumed (with slight assistance from Shawn and Killian):

A box of Kraft Macaroni and Cheese, a pouch of instant mashed potatoes with butter added, a box of Stove Top stuffing slathered with turkey gravy, a quarter of a (big) bag of M&M Darks, a banana, several grapes, and half a casserole dish of green bean casserole.

Somewhere in the course of this, Shawn mentioned getting a second serving of stuffing for himself. I have a vague memory of growling at him, like a protective kitten hoarding a Q-Tip. I'm fairly positive that I had gravy running down my chin at the time.

Total calorie consumption in those three hours? Somewhere in the 2,000 range. Grams of fat? Even I am not masochistic enough to want to read the damage I've just done to my cholesterol levels. I don't have a fetus, I've got a tapeworm with legs.

And don't even tell me to put down the fork. I'll probably stab you with it and then dine on your carcass.


ErikaRobin said...

I love this. You're like Godzilla and the refrigerator is Japan. Is this role-playing you engage in frequently? :)

Moonrush said...

Where's the growling and gravy dripping down your chin? I loved that part! Bren, if I send you a Costco-sized box of M&M's Dark, will you add the omitted parts? Please?

ErikaRobin said...

Read it again, Moonrush. It's there! Growling and gravy-chin...check.