Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Stuck in the middle with you
Winter term is officially underway. Now is the time for New Years' resolutions, a time for high heel snow boots, hot cocoa and the long haul towards graduation, or at least towards summer. My mother always said that winter term was the longest and hardest term. No longer is there the excitement of back to school, or the anticipation of summer plans. There aren't any good holidays, except maybe V-day, but that's arguable. There is just something about being stuck in the middle of the year that makes the days go slower and the work seem harder. Being in the middle gets a bum rap though. There are all sorts of phrases that invoke terror involving being in the middle; 'middle of nowhere', 'middle aged', 'middle child' (Marsha, Marsha, Marsha!), even 'mid-life crisis' or 'midterm'. It seems that being in the middle of something is wasted time, waiting for the end but no longer excited by the beginning. The planning is over, but you are far from finishing anything.
Currently I am in the middle of saving money for a house. I have a job, I have a plan, I have a budget. Now all I have to do is DO it. It all seems so dull sometimes, day in and day out, working and putting money away in the bank. Of course once it is all done I will have the rush of owning my own house, but right now, being in the middle, it gets a little monotonous.
Of course there are advantages to being in the middle. You have time. Time to think about your plan, your idea. Time to decide if this in fact is something you want to do. I can't tell you how many of my peers changed majors in the middle of the school year. You have that lull where you can sit back and think, "What the hell am I doing? and how am I going to lose these 15 pounds from Christmas?" When you are wrapped up in the beginning of a great journey, such as going to school, or deciding to buy a house, the possibilities are endless. All your time and energy is spent deciding how, when, where, papers get signed, things get bought, but there is so little time to really understand what it is you are signing up for. By the middle... you know what is being asked of you. You realize that maybe this isn't a piece of cake after all, but something you have to work at. If it is something important to you, you will get through it though. You will beat the boredom, the monotony, the aching anticipation of the END.
So, I am going to embrace my middle-ness. I am going to take advantage of the time and relatively low stress I have right now to enjoy this winter, to play with the kids more, and to relax and continue to revise and revisit my plans. Because as soon as I am done being in the middle of this, I will have something else to do, something else to finish, and this will just be the beginning.