Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts
Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts

Sunday, February 1, 2009

Do you shave your toes?

Silly question? As mammals we are covered in body hair. Some you see and some no one wants to see.

There are many reasons for mammals to be covered in hair. Homosapiens originally had hair to trap pheromones. (Pheromones are natures hormones that attract us to one another.)

The amount of hair that covers your body can depend on what part of the world your ancestors are from. People with more hair are likely to come from an area of the world where malaria is prevalent. Hair would provide a barrier between mosquitoes and skin. It would also prove to warn the victim of the bugs impending bite.

In this current time of Brazilian waxes and bare legs how are we not all single and bitten? Are there ladies in this day and age that walk around with big puffs of toe hair? Should we?

Food for thought.

Saturday, January 17, 2009

2 Arby's sandwiches please

Last night Michael and I went on a double date with some friends. We had a lovely time discussing a myriad of topics. The conversation came around to our worst dates.

Let me preface this story with the excuse that I was young. I should have just called off the date as soon as it started going wrong. I just put up with it because I didn't want to hurt his feelings. (dumb I know)

When I was in college a young man wanted to go out with me. We arranged to have him come to my house and pick me up for dinner and a movie.

He showed up in his new Chevy cavilier. While we drove to the restaurant he proceeded to brag about his new "sports car". I was laughing inside because I wasn't impressed but I thought it was sweet. We were young and he paid for it himself.

Then we pull up in front of Arby's. I was taken aback.

"I thought we were going to a restaurant" I said.

"This is a restaurant. I take all my dates here" he replies.

We get out of the car and go in. He walks up to the counter and orders 2 Arby's sandwiches, a large fries, and a large Coke. The cashier tells him his total and he pays.

He turns to me and says, "Oh did you want something?"

"No" I said flatly. I wasn't going to eat with him.

I sat down at the table with the skinny hunk of an idiot. He took out his first sandwich and put tons of their sauces on it. He took a bite and the sauce started running down his arm to his elbow.

HE LICKS THE SAUCE OFF THE LENGTH OF HIS ARM! No he didn't I think to myself.

He finishes all of his food and suggests we go on to the movie. I almost suggested that he take me home.

The entire way to the movie he brags on his car again.

We get to the theater and he decides we need to go see George of the Jungle. He pays for his ticket. I pay for mine.

He says that he wants to play video games until showtime. I watch him play the games. I am bored but the movie is about to start and I won't have to pay any more attention to him.

He looks at me and says, "This game is fun. Do you want to play against me? I have lots of quarters here."

I say, "Okay." What could the harm be? It was better than watching him play.

He puts in his money and says, "Put in your money."

YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!

The rest of the date went by. I blocked it out because it was horrible. He wanted to kiss me goodnight and asked me when we could go out again.

"Never!" I didn't care about his feelings anymore.